Pride

"Haman was furious to learn that Mordecai refused to kneel down and honour him. And when he found out that Mordecai was a Jew, he knew that killing only Mordecai was not enough. Every Jew in the whole kingdom had to be killed."

Pride. Hurt feelings. Anger.

I can be like Haman. I have felt angry,  as he was - not furious, perhaps, but still angry enough for feelings to cloud my judgement, spoil my joy and affect my relationships.

Rejection does this. I'm working on it, focusing on God's love for me, dealing with the deep feelings that modern day slights, petty offences or downright rudeness and rejection awake in me.

But I have been like Haman. I have let hurt pride poison relationships with other people who are connected to the perpetrator. I have let hurt pride cause me to react with inappropriate anger. I have let hurt pride cause me to dwell on the sin and ugliness in those who have offended me instead of covering them with the oil of forgiveness.

I know the truth of "Too much pride will destroy you." (Proverbs 16:18, CEV)

Scary. But I am NOT like Haman. I have confessed my sin to Jesus. I have opened myself up to the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. And I am learning to nestle close to the Father heart of God, to know that, whatever happens, I am loved.
(Esther 3:5 - 6)